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I was listening to the conversation between Brene Brown and Tim Ferriss and it was just amazing to hear. This is what I have absorbed and taken a note of it and I am Just sharing the Snippets of the conversation below :-
Surround yourself with love ;
– What differentiates us as a species is the need to be seen and known and loved and the need to see and know and love others.
Take responsibility for your emotions ;
– A great sage once said “ what are you unwilling to feel? ” It is so much easier to offload pain than to feel pain.
Be curious ;
– You build an armor around you to protect yourself. That doesn’t serve you anymore so you are stopping yourself from being seen by others. The solution is to replace the armor with curiosity about yourself, the world, what, why, where etc. Curiosity is really the super power for our second half of our lives because it keeps us learning and increases our self awareness.
– There is trauma for all of us. It’s just different levels of trauma. What you resist, persists.
Deal with the reality of the situation;
– You’re dealing with a fallout of a relationship no matter what. The question is how? Are you taking it on head first or are you letting it play out on its own?
Become self aware;
– You either become self aware or your emotion and cognition will control you.
Batch your relationship meetings with the following format ;
– what they are doing well
– what we are doing well
– what we would like more of
(If you keep a record you will start to spot patterns).
Marriage is never a 50-50. It’s an 80-20 ;
– “I feel like a 20. Ok I’ll cover you with an 80.” If both of us are less than a 100 combined then we will sit on the table and come up with a plan on what to do otherwise we’ll hurt each other. “I’ve got a 10. I’ve got a 25. Ok let’s eat out and get the maid to help an extra day. Let’s also ask if Charlie can skip practice today so we all can get to bed early.”
Be family focused, not kid or parent focused ;
– There are kid focused families, parent focused families and family focused families. If the kid wants to do 4 activities, I have a book launch and the father has to turn up to a doctor then we compromise. The kid does two activities instead of four. I do a two week book launch instead of four. It’s not the kids at the parents cost or the parents at the kids cost. It’s the family.
Have veto power ;
– Both have veto power but we never really use it. If a parent makes a decision for a kid, the other parent can veto that decision. I have used my veto once in 20 years.
Always explain the “why” ;
– From compliance to commitment. For compliance of what not to do, explain why. That takes them from compliance to commitment to the family values because they understand why they are complying to it as apposed to just because the parent said so. We say yes every time we can.
Different families have different ways ;
“I want to do all five activities.”
“Ok but I don’t have the time for all five so you need to choose two.”
“But my friends get to do all five.”
“I understand but different families have different ways of operating.”
Encourage exploration ;
– Take every class that interests you. Discover who you are. Explore. Learning what you don’t want to do is just as important as discovering what you do want to do.
Learn how to serve ;
– Everyone should have to work one to two service jobs. Wait tables. Learn how to serve people. Don’t ever date a guy who is a ridiculous to a waiter.
End Note –
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